The Hands of Time

Too often it seems people are saying that they don’t have enough time for this or that. That they are too busy with their own life to grab some fro-yo or hit up the latest indie movie premiere. We’re all guilty of it. I don’t know of anyone who can honestly say that they’ve never used some variation of the “I don’t have enough time” excuse. The more important point is, how often is that actually true? Can you really say that you don’t legitimately have time to do things? Quite frankly I have far too much time on my hands and get exhausted trying to come up with things to fill my time, but that could mainly be due to my unemployment.

But what I can say is there have been times when I’ve actually had a full schedule. Whether while I was in school or working, I’ve done the full time gig, and yes it’s exhausting. When I worked in Beijing, I was spending two hours alone each day commuting, I left the apartment at 7am and usually didn’t return until 7:30pm. BUT that doesn’t mean I wasn’t willing to sacrifice some time to see the friends I actually wanted to see, or do the things I actually wanted to do. Let’s face it, right now I don’t have any real responsibilities. I don’t have any kids, husband, boyfriend ( I don’t even have a plant to take care of), so saying that I don’t have enough time to do something would be a complete lie.

The thing is everyone has stuff to do. Everyone has a job, hobbies, friends, etc. Also, everyone has priorities. That’s what it really comes down to. In our busy lives, we make the time for the people and things we actually WANT. I’m not going to spend my time doing something I’m entirely uninterested in. That’s just not a good use of my (not so valuable) time, or anyone else’s time. And believe me, it’s obvious when someone doesn’t want to hang out with you. It may not be so obvious to the person requesting the hang out. But if you’ve tried to spend time with someone over and over again, and they seem to be more busy than a beaver, I say give it a rest. In the end it really comes down to the fact that if two people are meant to be friends, it has to be a mutual thing.  

So next time you want to use the “I don’t have time excuse”, try out one of these better options. Well they may not be better. But at least they’ll get the point across to the other person that you don’t actually want to spend time with them.

1.     I’m taking a nightly class on being a puppet master

2.     I’m really nervous waiting to hear the results of my STD test

3.     I’ll be busy this weekend, I need to watch the whole series of The OC

4.     I need to alphabetize my album collection

5.     My phone is in desperate need of bedazzling

6.     I have to take care of my sea monkeys 

7.     I’m going off the grid

8.     Actually I do not want to hang out with you

Have some decency. Hang with the people you want to. And stop kidding yourself trying to be that nice person with people you don’t want to be friends with. Quite frankly I think I’ve lived in the south too long and that southern hospitality thing is a little overplayed. But in the end, I am happy to be cordial to everyone, but when it comes to spending my time I just want to make it count. Make it count with the ones you care about.