Monday, February 4, 2013

Killing Me Softly


I’ve never really been an emotional person and definitely have a habit of guarding my feelings as much as possible. To many people this seems to be a negative thing, and well I’m not saying it’s good by any means, it’s just a fact of life. But the other thing I never really understood is how even the most simple sentence or event could drastically alter someone’s mood or feelings. That was until I came to Beijing. In my time here, for some reason to me everything seems exaggerated. Every emotion. The good, the bad and the ugly. From drinking $1 beers on the street, to soaking up this seemingly endless pollution.
                     All of my friends back home ask me if it is really as bad as all the articles say, and are in shock with my responses and my utter lack of ability to describe it to them. It’s just one of those things that I don’t think you can understand unless you experience it. Most westerners take for granted the clean air and the government telling the accurate levels of air pollution in their home country. Then you get to Beijing and an AQI level of 150 is a “good day” to us. By all western health standards, that is very unhealthy air, but we’re grateful it’s not in the hazardous range. The sun comes out and everyone is more excited than a kid on Christmas morning.
                     So what I really wanted to get at is the effects of the pollution on the citizens here in Beijing. There has been so much talk about the health concerns, which yes is a big issue, but what about the general mood? I’ll be honest, the Chinese people aren’t the most emotional people I’ve met. The occasional smile on the subway, but that is rare. Yet, Saturday I went to Houhai lake to go ice-skating and it was packed with people smiling and having fun. Because shockingly, the sun was out. In fact last Friday when the AQI was at only about 50, half the people at my work called in sick (Undoubtedly to enjoy the nice weather. Because it is beyond hard to come by). So with that being said, it is shocking to me how much weather can affect a person’s mood. But I guess it makes sense why the Aussies are probably the happiest people I’ve ever met. They spend their whole lives basking in the sun and enjoying temps that never dip below freezing. Something about getting some vitamin D and a warm breeze truly lifts everyone’s spirits. And I think Beijing is a prime example. Even the slightest glimpse of sun and you can feel the general mood has been lifted. On the contrary, on those cold polluted days you have no desire to even look out the window. You become a recluse, sitting on the couch watching seasons of Boardwalk Empire, or whatever your preference, and order delivery for lunch and dinner. Because who can be bothered with even making some food. Literally your lungs hurt. I walk to the 7-11, which is barely a 5 minute walk outside and I’m wheezing to catch my breath. Wondering if this is what it feels like to be a chain smoker.
                     What’s worse is how much I seem to have taken for granted my whole life living in North Carolina. Yes, the weather can be bipolar. Seventy degrees one day and thirty the next, but those Carolina blue skies are something I wouldn’t trade for anything. It’s absolutely beautiful and it’s almost hard not to smile. And what I think is the worst thing is that most Beijingers have no idea what they’re missing out on. I’m not saying at all that they are ignorant to the fact that the pollution is particularly bad right now. You can’t deny it, just looking out the window. But at the same time if you’ve grown up around it, I suppose you get acclimated to it. Or at the very least accept it as something which you can not change. Though, I really think that is likely a cause to the increased severity. Once you think you can’t do anything, there is no way it could possibly improve. You actually have to make the effort to improve your circumstances. You can’t just magically expect things will change. Wishful thinking and serendipity can only go so far… 

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